Some of my very good friends have spent the last few months listening to me moaning about my job, about how unhappy it is making me and how much I need to find a new one. Thank you to those people. It probably got a bit grating so I’m grateful for them not at any point saying “get some perspective, Jenn, there are people in the world starving to death, perhaps you should be grateful you got such a good promotion and shut the fuck up”.
I suppose I’m still not happy but am taking a slightly more philosophical approach to things. It’s not my job I hate. Quite the contrary. I love my job and, when it’s going well, I’m on fire. I’m really good at it and it fascinates me and inspires me and I’m so glad I accidentally ended up doing it. It’s just the environment in which I’m currently working that presents what I initially and optimistically described as challenges but that I would now describe as barriers. I don’t know if those barriers are insurmountable. I think they might be.
In December, I threatened to move into the private sector and, in preparation for such a move, began redrafting my CV and planning my strategy. But I have to admit that it’s working in the public sector that really gets me passionate. Having the freedom of working within a local authority and not having to worry about whether or not my work is fee-earning, delivering services primarily for the people that live in the county (making a difference to people’s lives) and striving to make those services better and better by joining up the work of other agencies and departments is exciting and is all the motivation I need.
I’m writing this blog entry so that everytime I think about giving it up and going “darkside” I can read this and remember why I put up with all the crap.