Little changes (and some other things too)

I suppose everybody can tell you something they don’t like about themselves. But at what point to you try and change that thing and at what point do you accept that it’s the way you are and live with it? I suppose this goes back to my new year’s resolutions and not setting ones that I know I’ll never achieve because I don’t have the motivation to do so. Omar would probably tell me that if you want to do something, if you want to make a change, you will (or he might not – I just imagine that’s what he’d say). I don’t know if it’s that simple though.

I can be really quite lazy. I struggle to get up in the morning, every morning, but I’m never ready to go to bed at night. I’ve tried to reset my body clock many times – I thought making the most of getting back from NZ and waking up at 4am everyday for a week would do it – but it simply won’t work. It’s like something in my head clicks in the early evening and I suddenly become more alert then. But what it ultimately means for me is that I go to bed late (or go to bed early but lie awake for hours) but still have to function in the normal world and get up to go to work. So I’m constantly tired.

But on Monday evening I was chatting to Sue about her “new me” project and I decided maybe to make some little steps towards making a change. So, in an attempt to kill a few new year’s resolutions with one stone, I’ve been going to bed at 10pm, listening to the radio and reading before going to sleep. I figured that way I would be winding down and would get to sleep earlier. So far, it hasn’t actually worked that way and I’m still tired but I’m enjoying the “me” time.

I’m really enjoying the book – Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon – which is so good, I don’t want it to end. And I’m enjoying the radio even more. Although I’m disappointed to say that the three channels I’m enjoying the most are BBC channels. I mean, that’s not very…eclectic of me, is it?

Colin Murray on Radio 1 in the evenings plays some great stuff (don’t start, Omar) – the Seasick Steve session on Monday was flipping brilliant. And last night he played Killing by The Apple, a kind of jazz cover of Rage Against The Machine’s Killing in the Name Of, which was just awesome (if anyone can find me the mp3, I will be eternally grateful).

6music is great. I like the fact that they have a account too (and that I have “Very High” compatibility with them). I worked from home today and was listening to George Lamb who, despite being white and middle class, presents his show almost entirely in patois. It’s pretty funny. Today, he was inspiring people to leave facebook. And playing some great music. Like The Long Blondes’ Giddy Stratospheres.

Also, Listen Against isn’t on Radio 4 anymore but Omar and I listened to it on our way back from Bristol on Monday and it’s awesome. But being able to listen to Today for longer than the 10 minute car journey to work is nice and I feel informed and a little more alert.

So far, then, I’m not getting very far with the “feeling less tired” objective but at least I’m enjoying myself in the process and that can only be a good thing.

Finally (phew, long post, sorry), this song is great (and is free to download from too – woo! Although you might have to be a subscriber, I don’t know…).

2 thoughts on “Little changes (and some other things too)

  1. It won’t change if you don’t want it to and if it’s not that simple, make it simple. You saying I don’t think it’s that simple is just an excuse ( I mean that in the nicest possible way of course!) but saying it’s not simple, it’s a hugely complex and difficult thing (which it may be, i won’t deny that) just reinforces the idea that you can’t do it. [Reread first sentence].

    [Important bit] So far [end important bit]

    Evening bits are acceptable, even Colin is. Though he was on Five Live this afternoon being an idiot.

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